


Time Gone

by lanterninthenight



Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Brotherly Love, Coming of Age, F/M, M/M, Slice of Life, bisexual disaster ponyboy curtis, bisexual ponyboy curtis, figured id tag anyway, ponys growing up, purly is just implied btw, sodapops clinging to childhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28556286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanterninthenight/pseuds/lanterninthenight
Summary: Sodapop Curtis struggles with the passing of time and the fact his little brother might not need him so much anymore.
Relationships: Ponyboy Curtis & Sodapop Curtis, Ponyboy Curtis/Curly Shepard, Ponyboy Curtis/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 37





	Time Gone

“- And then Steve leaps across the counter and fuckin’ decks the guy!” 

“He fired?” Darry asks as he listens to another one of Sodapop’s wild stories from work.

“Nah, boss just hollered at him for a while. Not that it bothered Steve any, he’s says he goin’ to find that Soc and pound his face some more,” Sodapop says, shaking his head at his friends stubbornness.

Darry gives him a dry look. “I hope I ain’t gonna get a call from the station ‘bout the _both_ of y’all fightin’ Socs. I’ll leave ya there overnight Soda I mean it.” 

Sodapop lets out an exaggerated gasp. “Now that’s mean, I ain’t never said nothin’ ‘bout gettin’ involved with Steve’s business.” 

Darry raises his eyebrows making Sodapop grin sheepishly. 

“C’mon Darry, he’s my best buddy! I gotta be there with him to fight those dirty Socs - or at least watch ‘em get beat,” Sodapop says passionately, “Ain’t that right Pone?”

Ponyboy is staring at his dinner plate, not eating just moving the food around on his plate. Sodapop frowns slightly, feeling a pang of guilt for not noticing his little brother’s mood. He nudges him softly. 

“Hey Pony.”

Ponyboy looks up, somewhat startled by Sodapop dragging him out of whatever daydream he was in. 

“Yeah?”

Sodapop looks at him expectantly. “What do ya think about Darry’s _accusations_.” 

“Oh I dunno, I wasn’t listenin’,” Ponyboy says quietly.

Darry rolls his eyes at this. Sodapop can already tell what’s coming. Darry opens his mouth, most likely to go on a tangent about Ponyboy having his head in the clouds when Sodapop cuts in. He’s desperate to avoid a fight between his brothers. Things have been so good recently. 

“Darry here is claimin’ I’ll get myself in trouble for Steve,” He shoots Darry a playful glare, “I reckon we ought to welcome trouble to help out a pal.”

Ponyboy just looks at him, “I would agree with you if it was anyone but Steve.”

Sodapop snorts slightly and goes to ruffle his hair. Ponyboy dodges his hand and scowls at him. His eyes fall on Ponyboy’s plate, which is still mostly full of the dinner he cooked. 

Sodapop knows something is up with his brother. He can’t ask him out right of course, he has to be casual about it.

“My cookin’ that bad kiddo? I made the potatoes blue for you and you ain’t gonna eat ‘em. Breaks my heart,” Sodapop says teasingly. 

Ponyboy’s lips twitch. “Jus’ ain’t hungry, that’s all.”

Darry is examining his own blue potato. You’d think he’d be used to Sodapop’s meals by now. 

“Ya gotta eat kid, even if it's blue.”

Sodapop holds a hand to his heart. “Blood, sweat an’ tears went into the meal I blessed y’all with tonight, an’ this is how i’m treated!”

Darry and Ponyboy just look at him with blank expressions. Sodapop always thought they were more alike than they thought.

Sodapop looks at his little brother, hoping to get more out of him. “How was school, Pone?”

“Fine,” says Ponyboy.

Sodapop frowns. 

That’s all he seems to hear from Ponyboy these days. _Fine. I’m fine. School was fine. My day was fine._

Ponyboy meets his eyes. “I gotta talk to ya ‘bout somethin’ though.”

Darry immediately looks up, worry creasing his face. “Everythin’ okay?”

Ponyboy’s chewing his nail - something he does when nervous - and Sodapop’s brain run’s wild with all the different possibilities. God if someone tried to hurt his brother he’ll kill them. 

“What is it Pony,” Sodapop says softly. 

“It ain’t a big deal,” Ponyboy shrugs, “ I was jus’ thinkin’... I ain’t had any nightmares for a while so you can move back into your old room Soda.”

_Oh._

“That’s a good idea,” Darry agrees. “You’ve been sleepin’ real good lately.” He smiles softly at Ponyboy, the smile that's reserved for when he’s proud of them. 

Ponyboy’s still looking at him. “What do ya think Soda?”

Sodapop bites his lip. He knows that if he disagrees with the idea it will be dropped. Him and Ponyboy will still share a room and nothing will change. Everything will be the way it is now. The way Sodapop likes it. 

But. God there’s always a but.

Ponyboy’s green eyes are looking into his brown ones, looking hopeful. It is true that Ponyboy hasn't had nightmares for a while, and Soda’s so very proud of him. He knows that his brother is happy. He just didn’t expect _this_ so soon.

So, Sodapop does what he always does. He smiles. 

“If that’s what ya want kiddo. We can move my stuff one of the days this week.”

Ponyboy smiles brightly at his older brother's words. “Thanks Soda. And we can move your stuff after dinner if ya want, it’ll only take a few minutes.”

_Oh._

Sodapop smiles again. 

“Sure thing kid.”

* * *

“Must be nice, havin’ a room to yerself again.” 

Steve’s sitting on the counter, flicking through a magazine. Business is slow today. 

“Yeah,” Sodapop mutters. 

Steve looks at him over his magazine. 

“You good man?” 

Sodapop sighs. “Yeah, jus’ tired.”

Steve snorts, giving him an incredulous look. “You’ve had a bed to yerself for a week now and yer _tired_?”

“Jus’ been weird, havin’ a room to myself again,” Sodapop says, rearranging chocolate bars that lay on the counter for the hundredth time today. 

“You miss the brat or somethin’?”

Here’s the thing - Sodapop doesn’t mind not sharing a bed with his brother anymore. Hell, the space he has is great. What he misses is their _talks._ Ponyboy always told Sodapop everything. He means _everything_. But he told him all this at night. The brothers spent countless nights awake just talking. Sure, it was hell in the morning but Sodapop loved every second of it. When Ponyboy would have a real bad nightmare Soda would comfort him for however long he needed, and then would just talk for the rest of the night. Ponyboy’s always been pretty quiet, but he told Sodapop everything during those late nights. 

Steve is looking at him intently. Sodapop knows there’s no point in lying to his friend, Steve can read him well. 

“It’s just - I feel like he’s driftin’ from me now. We ain’t barely talked this week.”

“That’s just in yer head Soda, you were talkin’ to the kid this mornin’,” Steve says matter of factly. 

Sodapop groans in frustration. “I know _that_ , I mean I ain’t _talked_ to him - oh just forget it.” 

Steve raises his eyebrows. “Don’t sweat it man, kid’s ‘bout to turn’ 15. All kid’s his age are filled with angst - just more so in Ponyboy’s case.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Sodapop mutters, not really wanting to continue this conversation

Soda knows Steve isn’t the best person to talk about this kind of thing. So he lets the subject change into what happened on Steve’s date with Evie last night.

An hour or so passes with no customers coming in. Steve’s out back looking over a car someone left in while Sodapop is the most bored he’s ever been in his life. Not an exaggeration. He pulls his cap over his face and begins to drift off, praying his boss doesn’t decide to pay them a visit today.

He falls asleep pretty quickly. Sodapop’s been able to fall asleep in the weirdest places and in the weirdest positions. It’s what he did most in school.

Sodapop’s eyes widen when he feels a hand grip his shoulder and a deep voice speaks.

“I ain’t payin’ you to sleep on the job boy.”

_Aw fuck._

“Shit Paulie I swear it ain’t gonna happen -” Sodapop turns around, apology and his charming smile that has helped him out of so many situations ready, only to meet the dancing grey eyes of Two-Bit Matthews.

“Shit Two-Bit,” he shoves his friend away from him, laughing good naturedly. 

Two-Bit cackles at him, “That’s like the fifth time I’m after gettin’ ya with that one man.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sodapop laughs, extremely glad it wasn’t actually his boss who caught him. “What are ya doin’ here this early anyway?”

Two-Bit sighs dramatically. “I woke up before noon and figured I ought to do somethin’ productive with my day. Wanna go hunt some action?”

“Unlike you,” Steve says, appearing from the back wiping his hands on a towel, “We got jobs to attend.”

“You ain’t no fun Stevie,” Two-Bit sticks his tongue out at Steve oh so maturely. 

Steve scowls. “I thought we left that nickname back in the fourth grade.”

“Nah, it suits ya Stevie,” Sodapop grins at his friend. 

Steve flips him the bird. 

Two-Bit yawns loudly, stretching out his arms. “Well, if y’all are gonna be borin’ I’m gonna go find someone else to bother.”

Sodapop perks up at this. “You meetin’ up with Pony?”

“Dunno man, he said yesterday he was goin’ out with some of his friends. Those kids from school, Ricky somethin’ and that lanky one with the glasses and some others I think, oh and that broad Juliet,” Two-Bit says casually.

_Juliet?_

Steve turns to look at Sodapop. “Who’s Juliet? No way Ponyboy’s after gettin’ a girl.”

“I - I dunno man,” Sodapop says surprised by Two-Bit’s revelation. “Are you _sure_ he said Juliet Two?” 

Two-Bit nods, “Positive man, I tried to find out more about her but the kid kept his mouth shut. I figured you’d know more than me, I thought Pony tells you everythin’.”

_Me too…_

Sodapop doesn’t reply. He can feel Steve’s eyes on him, probably remembering their conversation earlier.

“I doubt there’s anything goin’ on Soda, that’s why didn’t say nothin’,” Steve assures him. 

“Nah, I reckon there is. Maybe not with her but definitely with _someone_ ,” Two-Bit says thoughtfully.

Steve shoots Two-Bit look, trying to tell him to _‘shut the fuck up’._

“What?” Two-Bit says with a confused look on his face. Steve just sighs and puts his head in his hands.

“What makes ya say that Two?” Sodapop asks, desperate for some sort of information about his brother

A grin spreads across Two-Bit’s face. “ _Well_ , I wasn’t goin’ to tell ya Sodapop - ya know so yer feelin’s can be spared - _but,_ talk of the town is that yer after bein’ replaced as Tulsa’s resident pretty boy.”

“...by Ponyboy?” Sodapop says confused. 

“Duh. Every broad in the town has heart eyes for the kid, includin’ my kid sister,'' Two-Bit scowls a little at the end.

Sodapop wonders why Two-Bit is making such a big deal over this. He was always aware of this fact. Sure, he and Darry were complimented on their looks all the time, but neither of them held a candle to their little brother. 

Two-Bit shakes his head ruefully. “Those damn Curtis genes, none of us stand a chance.”

“So do you think this Juliet is his girlfriend?” Sodapop says, trying to get back to the matter at hand. 

Two-Bit shrugs. “No clue, we ought to corner the kid later on today and force it out of ‘im. Or just ask Johnny.”

Sodapop frowns even more at that.

The bell over the door rings, their first customer in a good hour walking in. Both of them glance over to see if it’s anyone interesting - it’s not. A few beats of silence pass before Two-Bit breaks it.

“It’s weird huh, kid’s growin’ up,” Two-Bit says softly. 

Sodapop just nods.

* * *

Darry’s already home and starting on dinner when Sodapop walks in the door. 

“No one else with you?” Darry says while stirring the sauce he’s making.

Sodapop sits at the table. “Nah, Steve went over to Evie’s and god knows where Two-Bit went. I ain’t seen Johnny or Dally today.”

“Johnny’s spending the night with Dal tonight.”

“Good,” says Sodapop, glad Johnny has a warm place to sleep tonight. “Pony here?”

“In his room,” Darry replies.

 _His_ room.

Sodapop stands up and heads for what once was him and Ponyboy’s room, now just Ponyboy’s. He pauses before knocking, trying to decide how to go about finding out what he wants to know. He always figured Ponyboy would just come and tell him when something like this happened. He sighs and knocks on the door. A soft _‘come in’_ is heard through the wood.

He finds his brother sitting on the bed reading (big surprise there). His glasses are perched on his nose, Soda’s glad Pony actually remembered to wear them for once.

“Hey Soda,” Ponyboy smiles, closing his book and diverting all his attention to him.

“Hey Pone, how was yer day?” Sodapop asks, hoping that Ponyboy will actually talk to him and everything will be normal again.

“Fine,” says Ponyboy. Of course he says that.

Sodapop walks to the bed and takes a seat where Ponyboy’s legs had been hogging. Ponyboy scowls and moves his legs, not before kicking Sodapop. The little shit.

“Anythin’ good?” Sodapop probs.

“No nothin’ excitin’ ”, Ponyboys says, “Whatever happened at the DX was probably far more interesting’.”

“Doubt it, we barley got any customers today. Man, what a waste of a day,” Sodapop complains, flopping down on to the bed laying horizontally.

“Poor you, havin’ to sit around all day _and_ get paid for it? The horror.” Ponyboys teases him.

Sodapop whacks his brother in the arm, making him yelp dramatically. Sodapop feels stupid for being paranoid about his realtionship with Ponyboy. Everything’s normal. Now he just needs to get his brother to talk to him.

“You know, Two-Bit came in today. He mentioned you said somethin’ about goin’ out with yer friends, a Juliet or somethin’?” Sodapop says as casually as he can manage.

Ponyboy’s face flushes and he immediately breaks eye contact with Sodapop. This tells Soda all he needs to know.

“Is she yer girl?” Sodapop demands. 

“I what? - No! Well, I- I … _yes_?” Ponyboy stutters, his face completely red now.

Sodapop’s ecstatic now. He practically leaps on his brother and bounces up and down on the bed, unable to stop his excitement.

“Why the fuck didn’t ya tell me kid?!”

“I just-”

Sodapop cuts him off. “How long has this been goin’ on? Is she pretty?”

“Soda,” Ponyboy tries. 

“What’s she like? When can we meet her?”

“Soda hold on -”

“Does Darry know? Kid I swear if he’s known all this time and I haven’t -”

Ponyboy reaches over and clamps his hand over Sodapop’s mouth. 

“Soda, I can’t answer any questions if ya keep askin’ me them.”

He removes his hand from Soda’s mouth. 

“Thank god you didn’t lick my hand,” Ponyboy sighs in relief.

“I will if I don’t get any answers,” Sodapop threatens, making a disgusted look come across Ponyboy’s face. 

“That's disgusting.”

“Start talkin’ kid.”

Ponyboy throws his head back and groans. Sodapop decided he’s not going to move until he gets answers. He has to be stubborn about it because his little brother is the most stubborn person he ever met. Sodapop is not moving until he finds out what he wants to know.

Sodapop looks at him expectantly. 

Ponyboy sighs. “Listen Soda, I wasn’t tryin’ to keep it from ya or anythin’. I jus’ didn’t want the gang to know yet.”

“I can keep a secret!” Sodapop cries, outraged.

Ponyboy scoffs. “Not somethin’ like _that_ , Steve would be ribbin’ into me within minutes.”

“This is different, you're the baby of the gang they ought to know when you get your first girl,'' Sodapop exclaims.

Ponyboy raises his eyebrows. _“See?”_

“Then can you tell me now? C’mon kid you used to tell me everything…”

Ponyboy’s face softens. “Soda -

“Food’s ready!” Darry’s voice cuts in. 

“I’ll tell ya later, I swear,” Ponyboy crosses his heart.

Sodapop opens his mouth to protest but his brother leaves the room before he can.

* * *

The weeks seem to fly by, one late night Sodapop finds himself in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner with Darry. Sodapop washing the dishes and Darry sweeping. 

Darry sighs deeply, breaking the silence between the two. “A month since Pony’s birthday and I’m still findin’ this shit.”

He tosses the confetti into the bin and continues sweeping. Sodapop laughs at his brother's frustration.

“It was a good day though,” Sodapop reminisces.

“Yeah, it was, I’m just glad Pone had a good time. Better than last year at least…” Darry trails off, a sad look on his face.

“Weird, ain’t it,” Sodapop murmurs, “Almost two years without ‘em.”

Darry stops sweeping and leans against the counter beside Sodapop.

“Ponyboy seems to be doin’ much better at least. He just shut down last year, I -I was scared we were gonna lose him as well.” Darry admits, a rare vulnerability shining in his eyes. 

“He’s okay. We’re okay,” Sodapop assures him. 

A silence falls between them, the only noise being a soft song playing through the radio. Soda’s pretty sure it’s The Beatles, but lets it slide due to how pretty it is. 

Sodapop breaks the silence first. “So, what do ya think of Juliet?”

Sodapop had managed to get Ponyboy to answer some of his questions that day. Not all, just some. He’s still hurt by the fact Ponyboy didn’t tell him sooner, but tries not to let us show. They had finally met Juliet a few days ago, though only for a few minutes. 

“She seems like a nice girl, pretty too. Pony seems to really dig her,” Darry says.

Sodapop hums in agreement. “I jus’ hope he don’t get hurt.”

Darry doesn’t say anything, but Soda can feel his brother's eyes on him. They’re both thinking the same thing. Sodapop waits for Darry to say something about it, but he doesn’t. Soda’s glad. He’s managed to move on, but Sandy is still a bit of a sore subject.

“He’ll be okay if he does. I mean he only turned fifteen it’s not like they’re gonna get _married_ ,” Darry says. 

“He could have married her already for all I know, he don’t talk to me no more,” Sodapop spits bitterly, harsher than he attended.

Darry eyes widen slightly. “C’mon Pepsi, he’s jus’ at that age,” he insisted.

“So I’ve heard,” Sodapop mutters.

Sodapop dries his hands with a towel and leans against the kitchen counter. He runs a hand over his face and sighs. 

“I’m sorry, things have jus’ been weird lately. I feel like Ponyboy’s distancin’ himself from me.”

Darry smiles sadly. “Welcome to the club.”

Sodapop feels guilty from how sad his older brother looks.

“He’s just doin’ what teenagers do Soda. Don’t take it personal, you know Ponyboy adores you,” Darry continues reassuringly.

“Yeah,” Sodapop says quietly. He doesn’t bother to fake a smile or pretend everything’s okay. He never has to do that with Darry.

Darry squeezes his shoulder. “I’m gonna head up, I gotta be up early tomorrow. Try not stay up too late.”

He ruffles Sodapop’s hair like he’s ten. Soda slaps his hand and bids him goodnight. He stays in the kitchen for a while longer, smoking a cigarette or two. He’s contemplating whether to go check in on Ponyboy or not.

Ponyboy had said he was going to sleep an hour or two ago, but Sodapop knows he’s still awake. His brother would always read or smoke a cigarette out the window while looking at the stars instead of sleeping. Sodapop makes his decision and heads for Ponyboy’s room. He doesn’t bother knocking and just as he predicted, finds Ponyboy leaning out the window, watching the sky.

Ponyboy turns around, surprised by Soda’s sudden entrance. 

“Glory you scared me Sodapop.”

Sodapop smiles sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Soda throws himself on to the bed and buries his head in the pillow. Ponyboy raises one eyebrow, just the way Two-Bit does. 

“Can I help you?”

“Don’t wanna sleep and I knew you’d be awake. Yer keepin’ me company kiddo whether ya like it or not,” Sodapop’s reply is muffled due to his head buried in the pillow.

“You look tired to me,” Ponyboy states. 

Sodapop fucks a pillow as hard as he can at his little brother. “Little shit.”

Ponyboy catches it and hugs it to his chest.

“Calm down I wasn’t pokin’ fun at your oh so precious face, I was talkin’ ‘bout the fact your kind of buried in my bed.”

Sodapop props himself up on his elbows, grinning at his brother. 

“ _Well_ , from what I heard I ain’t gotta worry ‘bout my looks no more, someone else is after stealin’ my thunder.”

“No way, who?” Ponyboy says curiously. 

And Sodapop thought he was dumb. 

“Um, _you_! Sodapop exclaims. 

Ponyboy blinks. He points to himself and mouths _‘me’?_

Sodapop laughs loudly, throwing his head back.

“See! I knew you were jus’ messin’ with me! Ponyboy shouts in an accusatory way. 

“I ain’t, I ain’t,” Sodapop splutters through his laughs, “It was just yer reaction kiddo that’s all.”

Ponyboy scoffs and crosses his arms. Sodapop laughs even more at his brother's face slowly turning red. 

“Little Ponyboy Curtis gettin’ all the broads,” Sodapop teases. “ _Actually_ speakin’ of which, how’s Juliet?”

This feels normal again. Sodapop and Ponyboy up late talking about everything and anything. So Sodapop’s desperately trying not to mess this up. It will all be okay, just as long as Ponyboy doesn’t say it.

_Please don’t say it, please don’t say it, please don’t say it, please don’t say it_

“She’s fine,” comes the dreaded reply from Ponyboy.

Sodapop’s not going to let it drop. Not today. 

“C’mon give me somethin’ kid!”

Ponyboy groans. “Soda!”

He can’t understand it. Why won’t his little brother talk to him about this? Why isn’t he coming to him for advice?

“You don’t gotta be shy kiddo. I’m yer big brother it’s my job to give you advice about stuff like this,” Sodapop tries.

Ponyboy, stubborn as always, doesn’t give in. 

Sodapop sighs. He wishes he was the kind of person to hold a grudge, he’s never been able to stay mad at anyone for more than a day - especially not Ponyboy.

“Are you at least bein’ careful?” 

Ponyboy’s face turns red for the hundredth time tonight. “Fuckin’ hell Soda.”

“ _Are_ you Ponyboy?” Sodapop says a little bit more forcefully. 

“Yes,” says Ponyboy quietly, suddenly finding the ground very interesting.

“You better, cause I’d hate for Darry to find out and him have to give you the talk again…” Sodapop trails off, knowing how big a threat he just dropped.

Ponyboy’s head snaps up, his green eyes wide. “Oh god _no_ ,” he whispers, “I can’t live through that again.”

“Be smart about it and you won’t have to,” Sodapop advises. He pauses for a moment, trying to find the words to say. “Listen, I know things have been a bit weird lately but you gotta know you can still talk to me. Nothin’s changed, savvy?”

Ponyboy frowns.

“What do you mean by _‘weird’_.”

Sodapop chews on his lip. “I jus’ thought - you know since I moved rooms and stuff things have just been … _different_.” 

Ponyboy’s studying his face with furrowed brows. “You think? I didn’t notice.”

_Oh._

Sodapop’s face must have given him away, because Ponyboy goes on to ask slowly. “Is everythin’ okay Soda?” 

Not really. But Sodapop won’t say it. So he just smiles.

“Course kid, I jus’ meant ‘bout ya adjustin’ to sleeping by yerself again that’s all.”

Ponyboy nods, Sodapop’s not sure if he’s fully convinced but he drops the matter anyway. “I’m sleepin’ great without all your snorin’.”

Sodapop scoffs loudly and leaps for his brother, pulling him onto the bed in a headlock. Ponyboy sputters and claws desperately at Sodapop. 

“Holler uncle!!”

“Fuck off!”

Loud pounding comes from the other side of the wall. 

“Shut the fuck _up_!!!” Darry’s voice shouts from his room. 

Ponyboy uses the distraction to break free. He stumbles up from the bed, rubbing his neck dramatically.

“Glory, between you and Curly I can’t catch a break,” Ponyboy groans. 

_Curly?_

“Curly, as in Shepard?”

Ponyboy raises his eyebrows. “You know another Curly?”

Sodapop ignores his brother's mouthiness. “Since when are y’all friends?”

“... We’ve always been friends?”

“Not really,” Sodapop says, very concerned over this new piece of information revealed.

“I think I ought to know better than you who _I’m_ friends with,” Ponyboy snaps. 

Sodapop’s eyes widen slightly. He knows his brother can have a bit of a temper on him, but it’s never ever been directed at him. Never.

The atmosphere in the room changes, the playfulness gone and being taken over by a tense feeling Sodapop does not like one bit.

“I never knew y’all were close,” Sodapop says softly, trying not to start a fight. 

“Yeah, well we are,” Ponyboy mutters.

Sodapop swallows. He needs to be careful about how he comes about this. He doesn’t want to fight with Ponyboy, but he also doesn’t want Ponyboy hanging around the likes of Curly Shepard.

“Listen kiddo, Curly Shepard ain’t good news and I don’t want ya gettin’ yourself into trouble cause of him -”

Ponyboy cuts him off. “You don’t even know him Soda.”

Trying to keep the situation calm is out the window, because now Sodapop is pissed off as well. His anger has never been directed at Ponyboy either, but things are different now. God Soda wishes they weren’t.

Sodapop scoffs. “I know _enough_ , he’s trouble Ponyboy and I don’t want you gettin’ involved with him!”

“Like you're some innocent!”

“I am compared to _him_!” 

Sodapop’s yelling now, he figures Darry will probably come in swinging on them in a minute and then all three of them will be pissed off. He continues on.

“Why are you bein’ so defensive of ‘im Pony? He’s no good you know -”

“I'm tired,” Ponyboy cuts him off sharply.

Sodapop opens his mouth to keep on ranting about Curly Shepard, but decides against it. 

“You want me to go?” Sodapop’s not shouting anymore, he’s speaking quietly now. He tries not to show how hurt it is by their conversation.

Ponyboy doesn’t say anything for a moment, making Sodapop hopeful that he’ll say no and then they can talk without yelling and everything will go back to the way it was - 

“Yes,” Ponyboy finally says. 

Sodapop turns on his heel and walks out the room, slamming the door behind him. He takes a deep breath once he’s in the hall, Ponyboy has never gotten angry at him like that. He hates this so much. Darry’s out in the hall as well, being woken up by the shouting. Sodapop can’t bring himself to meet his older brother's eyes.

“Soda, you know he don’t mean it he’s just -”

Sodapop cuts him off. “At that age? Yeah I know.”

He storms into his own room and leaves Darry in the hall alone.

* * *

Sodapop is the last to wake up the next morning. He can already hear the entire gang in the kitchen and doubts he’ll find the time to talk to Ponyboy about the night before. He stayed up most of the night thinking about it, and came to a decision that Curly Shepard is conspiring against him and trying to turn Ponyboy against the gang. 

...It doesn’t sound as smart the more he wakes up.

He goes out into the kitchen, figuring if he doesn’t Steve will drag him out of bed in the next minute or two. The whole gang's here already eating whatever Darry cooked for breakfast. Two-Bit shouts some sort of a greeting at him, that Sodapop can’t understand due to the mounds of food in his mouth. He grins at him, but looks around the room for his little brother.

His eyes meet green ones from across the room. Ponyboy and Johnny are sitting away from the rest of the gang talking quietly amongst themselves. Pony looks up from their conversation for a moment to hold his brother’s gaze before breaking it and muttering something to Johnny. Sodapop can’t help the sour feeling that stirs in his stomach while watching this. Johnny and Ponyboy have always been like this, since they were young it was always like a secret club no one else from the gang could join. It never bothered Sodapop before. But now Ponyboy won’t talk to him at all. 

_So he’ll talk to Johnny but not to me?_

Sodapop sits at the table taking the plate of food Darry hands to him. It's a bit bland for his taste, not colorful enough but he’ll let it slide. Darry watches him for a few moments, most likely remembering last night. Sodapop shoots him the best smile he can manage right now. Dallas sits to his left listening to whatever Two-Bit’s talking about, a bored expression on his face. Sodapop’s surprised he’s here this early, Dallas usually makes an appearance around noon.

“She’s into me I’m tellin’ ya - fuck off Randle don’t give me that look - rekcon all I need are a few more science classes ‘fore I get with her,” Two-Bit states, slightly muffled through his mouth full of food.

“How much did ya pay your Science teacher to partner you up with her,” Darry questions with a teasing tone. 

“Nothin’! It was faith or whatever the fuck you call it.”

Steve scoffs. “She ain’t into ya Two-Bit yer imagining it.”

“You ain’t in my Science class man she’s all over me,” Two-Bit exclaims. 

“Who are y’all talkin’ ‘bout?” Sodapop questions.

He finds it hard to keep up with Two-Bit’s love life.

“Linda Baines from my Science class, you know that good lookin’ blonde soc girl.”

“Soc?” Dallas joins the conversation, “Don’t waste yer time Two, most ya get from Soc broads is a kiss on the cheek. Trust me.”

“You talkin’ from experience Dal?” Steve grins. 

Dallas groans. “Wish I wasn't man. Three fuckin’ dates. She was hot but I wasn’t puttin’ up with that shit.”

Steve snorts.

Two-Bit waves them off. “Y’all gotta have more faith in me, I bet another two days ‘fore I’m takin’ her out.” He stands up stretching and yawning before continuing. 

“Speakin’ of which, I got a Science class to get to. Probably split after it,” He looks at Johnny and Ponyboy, “Let’s get goin’ kiddos.”

Ponyboy and Johnny are still having their secret conversation which Sodapop is not allowed to hear anymore. Ponyboy mutters something to Johnny before getting ready to leave. Sodapop’s eyes widen slightly when he sees them standing beside each other. Ponyboy now has a good bit of height on Johnny. 

Johnny notices this too and grumbles. “When the hell did this happen?”

Ponyboy and Two-Bit both laugh. 

“Johnny’s right,” Two-Bit starts “When the hell _did_ this happen?”

He walks towards Ponyboy only to stop in his tracks, his eyes comically wide.

“Holy fuck kid, yer the same height as me!”

That can’t be right. Two-Bit is an inch or two taller than Soda…

_Holy shit._

“He’s takin’ after Superman,” Dallas grins. “Soda here is gonna be the shortest Curtis soon enough.”

“No way,” Sodapop scoffs. 

Two-Bit turns to him, a shit eating grin spreading across his face. 

“Stand up Soda, let’s see how many inches the kid has to go ‘fore he’s lookin’ down at ya.”

Sodapop rolls his eyes and mutter under his breath how stupid this is before walking towards his brother and standing directly in front of him. Where his eyes directly meet Ponyboy’s green ones. Eye to eye.

Two-Bit starts laughing hysterically as if this is the funniest thing he’s ever seen.

“What! I - no this is fuckin’ _illegal_ or somethin’,” Sodapop splutters, at a loss for words. Johnny’s right. When the hell did this happen!

The entire gang is laughing at Sodapop’s horror. Bastards. 

Ponyboy’s lips curve up. “Don’t worry Soda, you’ll hit puberty _eventually_.”

The little shit pats him on the shoulder and pulls Johnny out the door, followed by Two-Bit. All three of them are laughing hysterically. He spins around to face the remaining three in the room. All three of them are laughing as well, not even bothering to hide it. 

“Keep laughing, he’s probably gonna grow to be taller than all y’all as well. Maybe even taller than you Darry,” Sodapop scowls.

Dallas shrugs. “Don’t matter if he’s taller than us, it’s just funny he’s taller than you though.”

Sodapop mimics Dallas and shoves toast in his mouth. Whatever.

Steve grins at Sodapop’s annoyed face before standing up. “Well, I gotta get to school as well. I’m pickin’ Evie up, she’ll fuckin’ kill me if I’m late again. I’ll see ya at work later Soda.”

Steve says his goodbyes and leaves. Dallas takes off soon after too, something about having to have a word with Tim Shepard. Darry turns to him once there alone, amusement written all over his face. 

“Don’t tell me you only realised y’all are the same height _now_?”

“Clearly.”

Darry stares at him for a moment and blinks. “Glory you sounded like Pony there.”

“Really? I barley remember what he sounds like cause he won’t fuckin’ talk to me anym -”

Darry cuts him off. “Don’t start Soda.”

“Why shouldn’t I? Sodapop says loudly, not shouting but on the verge, “He’s been avoiding me for months now and I still have no clue why!”

“How many times have I told you? He’s at that -”

“Don’t start Darry.”

Darry runs his hand down his face. “Come _on_ Soda did you really think this wouldn’t happen? That you guys wouldn’t grow apart a bit? He’s not ignoring you, you just need to realise he’s not thirteen anymore.”

Sodapop’s throat goes dry, he stands up abruptly. “I gotta get ready for work.”

Darry calls after him but Sodapop ignores him. Soda reckons he’s acting like Ponyboy too but he doesn’t care.

He leaves for work early and just drives. He drives around Tulsa, around his shitty little town he calls home and will forever call home because people like Sodapop Curtis don’t make it out into the real world. He’s not like his brothers who will make it out of here, who will thrive in the real world and make something of themselves.

And leave him behind.

Sodapop can’t control the sobs that escape him as he drives. He’s pent them up for so long and now they’re spilling out of him making him lose control of himself. He thought he had more time. He thought he had more time of sharing a room with Ponyboy and staying up late talking and playing football with the gang and being fucking _seventeen_.

_“He’s not thirteen anymore.”_

Darry’s words play over and over in his head. Ponyboy’s not thirteen anymore and Sodapop’s going to be eighteen soon. He tried to avoid it, tried to pretend it won’t happen and nothing will change and childhood will never end. 

How fucking stupid is he?

He pulls his shitty car into the DX and sits in it for a while, trying desperately to control his breathing and not make it too obvious he’s spent the past hour sobbing. Some greaser he is. He only gets up when he figures he looks decent enough - at least well enough to blame his red eyes on hay fever or some shit. His boss Paulie barely even glances at him as he walks in, Soda shouldn’t have bothered. 

The minutes go by as blur for Soda, who’s trying desperately not to think of what he fears. He can’t avoid it, not anymore but god he can’t face it - not yet.

The DX is relatively quiet until Will Rogers High School gets off for lunch. Greasers begin to flood the place like always, Socs know better than to even attempt as step foot down here. Sodapop watches some kids around Pony’s age mess around outside. It makes a sad smile come across his face as he remembers himself at that age. He misses high school the odd time. Not the classes, but the fun and trouble he and Steve used to get into. He then frowns, remembering the fact Steve will graduate this year. And possibly leave Tulsa.

_I can’t avoid it anymore…_

His heart begins pounding and he’s on the verge of sobbing again, when Two-Bit throws the door of the DX open yelling loudly.

“What did I say! What did I fuckin’ say!” he shouts while running around the shop like a madman. A tired looking Steve follows him into the shop.

“For the love of god Two-Bit _stop_ ,” Steve says sounding tired, as if he’s said a million times.

Sodapop’s managed to get his breathing under control and is blinking rapidly. Steve’s too distracted by Two-Bit to notice Sodapop’s behaviour right now.

Two-Bit stops prancing around and grins at Steve. “Say it.”

“No.”

Two-Bit steps closer.

“Say it,” he says in a sing-song voice.

“Fuck.Off.”

“Not until you say it Stevie.”

“Don’t call me that you piece of shit.”

“Say it Stevie. Admit it Stevie.”

Steve’s glaring at Two-Bit so hard that Soda reckons he might pull out a gun and shoot him. 

“I- I _guess_ …”

“ _Yes_?” Two-Bit smiles broadly.

Steve looks like he’s being forced to kill someone he loves. He lowers his head and whispers quietly. 

“You were right.”

“And?”

“I.Was.Wrong. There! Can ya shut up now?” Steve spits.

Two-Bit beams and throws his arm around Steve. “That wasn’t so hard was it?”

He looks at Soda and acknowledges him for the first time since he burst through the door. “Guess who I’m takin’ out this Saturday?”

Sodapop’s so very thankful for Two-Bit and his love life right now. That distraction really gave him time to get himself together. So he grins at Two-Bit.

“You pulled it off?”

“Yep. Even when y’all doubted me, I fuckin’ pulled it off. Y’all are never allowed doubt me again.”

Steve scoffs at that. “You got lucky this time Two. I reckon that broad inhaled some funny chemicals in that class that made her brain screw loose.”

“Don’t matter Stevie, I’m still takin’ her out when you said I stood no chance. How does it feel to be wrong?” Two-Bit says proudly.

Steve retorts something back but Sodapop isn’t listening anymore. He’s heard this fight about a million times before. He cranes his neck out the window, trying to see if Ponyboy’s out there. He comes by at lunch most of the time. Well, he used too. Not so much anymore. 

“Hey, did Pony not come with y’all?”

Steve and Two-Bit look at him from their argument. 

“Nah man he went off with that Beaumont girl, probably to swap spit or somethin’,” Two-Bit replies. 

Sodapop wrinkles his nose in disgust and Steve mutters “gross”.

“Since when have you two been a pair of prudes!” Two-Bit cries in shock.

“When Ponyboy is involved in it,” Steve says, “He’s like … _ten_.”

“Fifteen,” Soda corrects softly.

Steve grimaces as he hops onto the DX counter. “Man I’m gettin’ old.”

_Tell me about it._

“Johnny went somewhere with Dally as well, leavin’ me and ol Stevie here to our own advances,” Two-Bit continues on. 

Steve throws one of his sweets at Two-bit for the use of that nickname again.

Sodapop sighs. He was kind of hoping Ponyboy would stop by today, so they could talk. He’ll just have to wait until he gets home later on.

“Oh and Soda, kid told me to tell ya he has track tonight so he’ll be home late.”

 _Seriously_?

* * *

The rest of the week passes by slowly with no communication from Ponyboy. Sodapop’s half tempted to lock his brother in a room and refuse to let him out until they talk properly.

_“He’s not thirteen anymore.”_

Fuck Darry and his logical brain. Him and Ponyboy definitely hogged all the smart genes from him. Of course all three of them got dashing good looks, but how is it fair that his two brothers got intelligence as well? At least make them _ugly_ if they're going to be geniuses!

Friday night comes with the gang and Tim Shepard coming over for a game of cards. Sodapop managed to slip out of their loud and chaotic living room to slip a few aces into his sock. He has to do it before Tim shows up. Tim caught him slipping out of the room last time and Soda caught hell. He’s still going to do it though, he just has to be careful not to be caught this time. Sodapop’s a lousy card player, but he’ll be damned if he loses a penny to the likes of Two-Bit Matthews.

Ponyboy is the only gang member not present. He’s out with his friends. Of course. 

Sodapop slips back into the room, sitting down on the couch and picking up a slice of the pizza they ordered. Steve narrows his eyes at his best friend. 

“Where’d ya slip off too?”

Sodapop throws his arms in the air, exasperated. “Can’t a guy take a piss!” 

Steve narrows his eyes further. Sodapop grins at him through the pizza that is hanging from his mouth. He’s going to have to be real careful about getting the ace out of his sock. Maybe he can convince Steve to let it slide and they can split the cash…

Sodapop’s still contemplating about how to go about it, when the Curtis’ door flings open. Tim Shepard saunters in the house, a cigarette hanging from his lips, looking as effortlessly cool as always. 

“Hey y’all.”

Various greetings are mumbles - bar Dallas who scoffed dramatically at Tim’s entrance - and Tim takes a seat next to Two-Bit.

“So, y’all ready to be robbed blind?” Tim grins, his blue eyes gleaming.

Sodapop grins, he always likes when Tim comes around for a game - he’s tuff. He opens his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by another bitchy scoff from Dallas Winston.

Tim’s eyes narrow, but in a different way than Steve’s had a few minutes ago. “Somethin’ ya wanna say Winston?”

“I reckon we ought to talk ‘bout what you was sayin’ bout me last -”

Darry cuts Dallas off mid sentence. “Y’all do this every week, we ain’t listening to whatever y’all are fightin ‘bout tonight. Deal with it tomorrow.”

Dallas opens his mouth to retort, glaring at Darry, when Johnny nudges him and shoots him a look. Dallas looks troubled by this but closes his mouth, choosing to sneer at Tim instead. Sodapop reckons Dallas will walk in the door tomorrow black and blue after him and Tim ‘dealt with it’. 

Tim just smirks. Him and Dallas are more or less the same person, but Tim has never been as bitchy as Dallas. 

Sodapop nods his head along to the radio. My Generation by The Who is blasting through the room. It’s one of Ponyboy’s favourite songs, he always belts the lyrics when they go for drives. Or used to. They haven’t gone for a while. 

_Don’t think about Sodapop. Not now._

They manage to get through the game without any teeth being knocked out - Dallas just gave Tim a dirty look once in a while and tried his hardest not to laugh at any of Tim’s jokes (Sodapop saw his lips twitch though). Sodapop didn’t manage to get the ace out of his sock due to Tim’s cool blue eyes watching him like a hawk. He tried to use his charming grin that has helped him out on so many occasions but Tim wasn’t having any of it. Naturally, without the help of cheating, Sodapop lost big time. Johnny cleaned them all out. He’s always been real good at poker - you just don’t suspect his bluffs. He doesn’t mind though, the weed he’s smoked has taken away his ability to feel angry.

Sodapop didn’t think of the Ponyboy situation at all - mostly because of the weed. He felt relaxed and so much more at peace than he has in a while. Tim always brings the good shit, none of that cheap stuff Two-Bit carries with him. 

“I just don’t think it’s fair that’s all.”

“Move _on_ Two-Bit”

“No way man you messed up once before I reckon it’s only fair you the rest of us have a chance with her!” 

Two-Bit’s shouting now, his beer can sloshing everywhere as he waves his arm about. He points his finger at Darry and continues. 

“You don’t getta lose the best lookin’ broad in town - hell the _country_ \- and just get her back!”

Darry laughs, throwing his head back as he does. He takes a drag from the joint in between his fingers and smirks. 

“But I _did_.”

“Motherfucker -”

Sodapop smiles at the scene before him. He loves seeing his older brother happy and relaxed like he is now - and it’s not just because of the weed . Darry has been a lot happier these days due to the fact Shelly Davis has come back to town. Shelly grew up down the street from them and the gang knew her and her brother real well growing up. Shelly and Darry started goin’ steady in their Junior year. Sodapop used to always tease his brother about how whipped he was for her and Darry would tackle him for it, but would never even bother to deny it. Sodapop swore they were going to get married, but then Shelly had to leave town after her old man got sent to prison and Darry was meant to go to college and things just fell apart. So they broke up. Darry never liked to talk about her but Sodapop knew he never fell out of love with her. He gets why - Shelly’s beautiful and smart and kind and funny and witty and so much more. He’s glad they found their way back to each other.

Tim laughs. “Mathews, I can name five different times Daniel has beat yer ass for makin’ a move on Shelly or jus' pissin' him off in general.”

Daniel Davis is Shelly’s older brother. He’s real tough and the kind of guy you don’t wanna piss off. Sodapop likes him though. He’s a nice guy unless you cause him trouble, he’s never had a problem with any of them - except Two-Bit on a few occasions - and he’s pretty good buddies with the gang. Even Dallas respects him. 

Two-Bit shudders. “Don’t remind me, fuck man scariest moment of my life was Daniel Davis comin’ at me yelling in French. I don’t know what he said to me but fuckin’ hell, I hope I never hear it again.”

“That’s how much ya pissed him off Two, he couldn’t even speak English to ya. Shelly and Daniel were talkin’ French ‘fore English,” Darry says laughing.

Tim nods in agreement. “Fuck, I don’t speak a word of English when I’m pissed - Just ask Curly.”

Two-Bit shakes his head. “He ruined Tammy Clarke’s Halloween party for me.”

Sodapop laughs at the memory. They spent the rest of the night reminiscing about their childhood and telling stories. Sodapop’s too high to get sad over the fact that those times have passed.

* * *

The days pass without much excitement. Sodapop goes to work, flirts with girls, works on cars with Steve, hangs out with the gang at home and doesn’t talk to Ponyboy. 

It’s become a routine at this point.

Sodapop drags himself out of Steve's car late Thursday night. The DX was insanely busy today, Sodapop feels dead on his feet. He turns around to face Steve, leaning on his car for support. 

“You comin’ in?”

“Nah, I’m just gonna head home and sleep,” Steve replies through his yawns. 

“You gonna head into school tomorrow?”

“Fuck no.”

Sodapop snorts and waves goodbye. He trudges up the steps to his home, feeling as though he could just curl into a ball on the wood and sleep right there and then. His house is warm and welcoming as he steps in, the smell of whatever Darry’s cooking wafting through the house. 

“Hey,” Sodapop yawns, rubbing his eyes. 

Darry turns around from where he was facing the stove. “Hey Soda, how was work?”

“Long,” Sodapop groans, he takes a seat on the kitchen table and rests his head on it.

Darry snorts at him. “You hungry? I’m makin’ meatballs.”

“I already ate,” Sodapop murmurs. “Now I just wanna sleep.”

Darry says something else to him but Sodapop doesn’t hear, he walks from the kitchen and towards his room thinking of soft pillows as he does. 

He hears the voice of Bob Dylan through the door of his old room and thinks _‘Pony’s home.’_

His little brother is the only one in the gang who digs Bob Dylan. He’s got all his records but his favourite is _‘_ The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan’. Ponyboy’s always playing it, much to Steve and Dallas’ disgust - They ain’t big fans of Dylan. Sodapop bought him the record after he kept singing that song ‘Don’t think Twice, It’s All Right _’._ Sodapop isn’t that big of a Dylan fan himself - too slow for his liking - but his new stuff ain’t too bad. That rolling stone song is tuff. Ponyboy still digs Dylan’s folk type music though.

He pauses outside the door, contemplating whether to go in or not. They’ve haven’t properly talked in so long and _god_ Sodapop misses him so much. He rests his head against the wood for a few moments. His hand reaches for the door handle and rests on it, but not opening the door. Bob Dylan keeps on singing and Sodapop takes his hand away from the handle.

_“He’s not thirteen anymore.”_

Darrys right. Ponyboy’s not thirteen and Sodapop can understand why he doesn’t want to talk to his older brother anymore, as much as it hurts him. Sodapop walks away from his once room and into his new one. 

He throws himself onto his head and buries his head into the pillows. Dylan’s voice can be heard through the walls but Sodapop doesn’t mind. He wants Ponyboy to listen to it if he wants. Besides, Sodapop can sleep through just about anything. 

He falls asleep almost immediately and dreams of grassy fields and playing guitar by a campfire and people dancing around under the stars… 

“Sodapop?”

Sodapop groans. How can it be morning already? He just fell asleep! Please god just five more minutes…

“Oh shit I’m sorry I thought ya mighta been awake I’ll go…”

_Ponyboy?_

Sodapop shoots up like a bullet. 

“Ponyboy?”

His brother is standing by the door. His hair is ungreased and fluffy on his head and he's wearing an old sweatshirt and sweatpants. He’s chewing on his nail. 

“I’m sorry for wakin’ ya Soda, go back to sleep.”

“No,” says Sodapop shaking his head frantically, he’s wide awake now. “Is everything okay? Did ya have another nightmare?”

Ponyboy shakes his head. “ No, nothin’ like that. I just - well I just wanted to talk to ya but it don’t matter no more -”

“It’s fine!” Sodapop cuts him off. “C’mere sit down.”

It’s more than fine, it’s fucking amazing! Ponyboy is coming to _him_ to _talk,_ Sodapop can’t mess this up.

Ponyboy hesitates for a moment before sitting down on Soda’s bed. He pushes his ungreased hair out of his face. They both sit in silence for a moment.

Sodapop breaks it. “So, what’s on yer mind?”

Ponyboy stays silent for a moment. 

“A lot,” he admits eventually. 

“Like what? You can talk to me kiddo you know that,” Sodapop whispers. He’s worried now, he’s been out of the loop from his brother's life for what feels like forever now - god knows what could have changed.

“I know it’s just - I’ve been doin’ some thinkin’ and I guess you were right, things have been a bit _‘weird’_ lately,” Ponyboy sighs. 

“Yeah I know kiddo,” Sodapop says softly. “That doesn’t mean ya can’t talk to me anymore though, is it Juliet or something?”

Ponyboy looks up, his eyes brilliant and green meeting Sodapop’s brown ones. “Oh! We broke up.”

Sodapop’s heart drops. No wonder Ponyboy has been so quiet and closed off these past few days.

“Oh honey I am so sorry,” Sodapop whispers, he leans over and pulls Ponyboy into a hug. “Yer going to get through this and you’ll meet someone new I swear, you’ve got so much to offer kiddo. Yer amazing on the inside and out and -”

Ponyboy begins to make a funny sound and Sodapop’s heart just about breaks for a few moments, until he realises Ponyboy doesn’t exactly sound like he’s crying.

“Ponyboy are you laughing…?”

Ponyboy pulls away from Soda, his eyes bright and a smile on his face. “Fuck I’m sorry Soda, it’s just your pep talk is a real cheesy.”

Sodapop’s glad his brother’s not crying but _damn_ that hurt a little bit. “It’s helped others!”

“Who? Oh god please tell me it’s Steve, if you gave that pep talk to Steve I will have so much material to burn him with!” Ponyboy laughs. 

“No I - of course it wasn’t Steve,” Sodapop stutters, trying his best not to sell his friend out. He’s honestly still hurt Ponyboy insulted his pep talk - he wasn’t even finished yet!

Ponyboy throws his head back, his whole body shaking with laughter. “You’re an awful liar Soda. Oh man Steve is gonna hear it tomorrow!”

Sodapop can’t help but smile softly. He lets his brother have his fun before getting back on track. 

“Yer allowed to be sad kiddo,” Sodapop says softly, “Breakups are shit - especially the first time around.”

Ponyboy just smiles at him. “I’m okay Soda, honest. It happened on Sunday anyways.”

Sodapop blinks at this revelation. “And yer only tellin’ me now?”

“I just didn’t know how to tell you,” Ponyboy sighs, his eyes becoming misty.

Sodapop frowns at this.

“Why did y’all break up? Was it you or her?” Sodapop questions. 

“Both,” Ponyboy replies, “We just decided to break things off and go back to bein’ friends again, that’s all.”

Sodapop shakes his head. “It’s never that easy, tell me the truth kid.”

“That is the truth!”

“No way!”

“I swear man!”

Sodapop frowns. “I don’t believe ya. You don’t go from being friends with someone to bein’ physical with ‘em -”

“Fuckin’ hell-”

“And then back to bein’ friends, it don’t work like that.”

Ponyboy shrugs. “Did for me.”

Sodapop shakes his head again. “No _way_ , breakups ain’t the kinda thing you _shrug_ over! Right now you should be curled up in bed and crying cause you feel like you’ll never be happy again!”

Ponyboy stares at him horrified. “Who _hurt_ you?”

They both wince at his words immediately after.

“Shit Soda I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Sodapop says softly. He hates that it’s been a year and it _still_ hurts.

Ponyboy's eyes are wide and he looks so guilty that Sodapop can’t help but laugh.

“Really kiddo, it’s okay,” he says amused.

“I’m okay too Soda, I swear. I’d say somethin’ if I wasn’t,” Ponyboy reassures him.

“I kinda doubt that,” Sodapop says before he can stop himself. 

Ponyboy frowns and Sodapop mentally prepares himself for the fight that’s coming. He’s fucked it up and now Ponyboy is going to get annoyed and they’ll fight and then they won’t talk - 

“I’m sorry.”

_Oh?_

“Yer _sorry?_ ,” Sodapop repeats. He was not expecting _that_.

“Yeah I am. I know I’ve kind of been shuttin’ ya out lately and I - I’m _sorry_ ,” Ponyboy says, playing with a piece of thread hanging from his sweatshirt.

Okay. This is good. Sodapop can work with this. 

“Ya don’t gotta apologize kid, it’s my fault really I shouldn’t bug ya as much anymore, yer gettin’ older now,” Sodapop says, talking to Ponyboy and himself really.

“No it ain’t yer fault it’s _mine_ ,” Ponyboy says stubbornly. 

“Not completely!”

“Yes completely!”

“Let me take a least some responsibility -”

“No, you didn’t do anything! You were tryin’ to talk to me and I was bein’ annoyin’ about it!” Ponyboy shouts, not in an angry way but sounding more frustrated.

Sodapop smiles at his brother. “ I guess you were bein’ a brat.”

Ponyboy laughs. “Yeah I was.”

A silence falls between them, but not the awkward kind. The clock on his beside reads 12:47 and Sodapop’s so happy that they’re talking again, just like before. 

“So,” Sodapop grins, ready to move on from the whole ‘not talking to each other incident’. “Since you and Juliet are done, is there someone else ya like?”

Once again, Ponyboy’s face flushes and gives him away.

“Who!”

“Soda!”

Sodapop’s grinning like a maniac. “Who is it! Do I know her? Does she know? Man no wonder yer already movin’ on considering from what I heard everyone in Tulsa is in love with you kiddo - even with that smartmouth of yers! Is she from our neighbourhood - _Holy shit_ it ain’t Two-Bit sister is it? He said she has a thing for ya -”

“No it ain’t Brenda Soda!”

Sodapop catches his breath from his rapid fire of questions. “Then who?”

Ponyboy playing with the thread again. He won’t meet Soda’s eyes making anxiety stir in his stomach. What is he hiding?

“Come on kiddo not this again…”

“You won’t like it,” Ponyboy whispers, still not meeting Soda’s eyes. 

“Why not? _Talk_ to me Pone, tell me what’s goin’ on.”

“Promise you won’t hate me.”

“ _Hate_ you? Glory I could never hate you Pony! Who is _she_?”

Ponyboy takes a deep breath. “It ain’t a she.”

Sodapop blinks. He doesn’t quite understand. 

“What? Ain’t a she what are ya on about Pone? I - _oh_.”

“Yeah,” Ponyboy whispers.

Holy shit. He was not expecting that. 

Ponyboy’s head is hung and he refuses to meet Sodapop’s eyes. Sodapop swallows, struggling to find the right words. 

“Ponyboy…”

“I get if you’re disgusted Soda it’s _fine_ I just didn’t wanna lie no more - especially not to you,” Ponyboy rushes out, his green eyes still not meeting Sodapop’s.

“I’m not disgusted,” Sodapop says softly.

Ponyboy’s head snaps up. “You’re _not_?”

“Course not,” Sodapop shrugs. “I don’t give two shits whether yer with a boy or a girl as long as they treat ya well and yer happy.”

Ponyboy stares at him. And keeps staring. Sodapop’s always been jealous of his brothers eyes - he got their grandmothers - they’re so _pretty_. They’ve always reminded him of emeralds. Ponyboy’s eyes have always been his giveaway though, they’re too expressive. His brother has the resting greaser face down to T, but his eyes always give him away. At least if you know him well enough to see that. Right now Soda can tell his brother is trying not to get emotional.

“Come on Pone, you think I could ever hate ya? I honestly wish I was Steve sometimes so I could actually get mad at you for once,” Sodapop jokes. 

“Wish you were _Steve_ , are you okay in the head Soda?” Ponyboy’s smartmouth says.

Sodapop grins. Ponyboy does too. 

“I know y’all can get on each other's nerves but he does care about ya, don’t tell him I ever said this but he does enjoy y’alls back and forth thing you’ve got goin’ on - even if he can never manage to outwit ya,” Sodapop says. 

He pauses for a moment before continuing.

“And he won’t care about who ya like kid, none of us will.”

Ponyboy smiles slightly. “I know. Johnny called me dumb for thinkin’ otherwise, he was right.”

“Johnny?” Sodapop echoes. “He knows?”

“Um yeah, I told him a while back cause I - I just wanted to tell _someone_ and I knew he’d understand.”

Sodapop would be a liar if he didn’t feel a pang of jealousy at this revelation. But he lets it go. 

“Well he was right, none of ‘em will care - and even if they did I would personally beat the tar out of ‘em,” Sodapop states valiantly. 

“Yeah, I mean I know Darry won’t care or Two-Bit, Steve might rib into me but I know he don’t mean it - I’ll just rib into him even worse anyways - and Dal would be a fuckin’ hypocrite if he had a problem with it.”

Sodapop narrows his eyes. “Why would Dal be a hypocrite?”

Ponyboy eyes widen slightly. “Doesn't matter.”

Sodapop makes a mental note to find out more about that.

He then speaks softly. “This why ya broke up with Juliet? Does she know?”

“Oh!” says Ponyboy while shaking his head. “No I broke up with Juliet cause we wanted to be friends, I wasn’t lyin’ about that.”

Sodapop frowns. He really doesn’t understand now.

“ _What_? I’m sorry kiddo yer after losing me there, I thought ya liked boys?”

“I do, but I like girls too.”

“Oh, I didn’t know ya could do that.”

Ponyboy laughs, making Sodapop smile. “Course ya can Soda! It’s just - well it can be very confusing cause sometimes I’ll see a real cute boy and think _‘oh maybe I like boys more_ ’ and then I’ll see a girl and I’ll be like _wait_ -”

“So ya like everyone?” Sodapop cuts into his brothers crisis. 

“Um yeah kinda like that.”

“Whatever makes ya happy Pone.”

Ponyboy frowns for a moment as if he’s contemplating something deeply, and then throws himself at Sodapop, hugging him tightly. 

“I really missed ya Soda,” Ponyboy says, his voice muffled from being buried in Sodapop’s shoulder.

Sodapop wraps his arms around his brother. Ponyboy spoke the exact words Sodapop has been trying to say.

“I missed ya too kiddo, more than ya know,” he says into Ponyboy’s hair.

They stay like that for a few moments. Ponyboy eventually pulls away and grins at Soda. 

“No more secrets?”

“Definitely not.”

Sodapop feels content. As much as he wishes childhood would never end and they could stay young and free forever, he knows things change as time passes and he will have to learn to change with them. But he’ll always have his brothers - even when Ponyboy has left for collage Sodapop will be damned if they don’t talk on the phone at least once a day and Darry better count on the fact Sodapop will be showing up at his house for dinner weekly once he moves out of their shitty neighbourhood with Shelly. Not to mention Steve, who is just never escaping him now.

So instead of being sad about time gone, he’s going to concentrace on _now._

" _S_ _ _o_ , _ who’s this boy that has ya so smitten?”  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed!!!!!


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